Press "Enter" to skip to content

The genesis of Yung Gravy’s performance at the College

Two Saturday nights ago, SPB announced that Yung Gravy will perform at the 2022 fall concert. The following morning, students awoke in disbelief to find that the email was real, and not an inebriated hallucination. Many are rightfully questioning how the student programming board secured Gravy. An anonymous source has confided in The Colby Echo, leaking excerpts of an email exchange between President David Greene and Yung Gravy. 

From: David Greene 

To: Young Gravy 

Dear Young Gravy, 

I hope this email finds you in good health. My name is President David Greene. It is so great to correspond with you. I am a huge fan! I may be the president of a college, but I’m still cool! I know what’s hot! Your songs make me feel lit and TBH that is on peridot, bae. 

Before we get to business, I just want to take a moment and thank you for enhancing my life with your musical genius. Winter of 2018, I was in a really dark place: Waterville, Maine. Mr. Clean inspired me to make some blueberry muffins and clean up the house. It helped me get my life back on track! Now my wife calls me Mr. Clean! 

Would you consider coming to Colby College in October to perform? It would be a mood, bro! 

All my love, 

President David Greene 

From: Yung Gravy 

To: David Greene 


I can make October work, but I’m gonna need some stuff. 

AA batteries, both car and regular lube, a Colby sweatshirt, a platter of cocktail shrimp before and after the show, complimentary hot towels that are cold, a crowd of MILFS to make me feel good about myself, and a large rotisserie chicken for me and my girl, Sheri. 

Also, Greene, I’m gonna be straight with you – I am expensive. 


From: David Greene 

To: Young Gravy 

My beloved Young Gravy, 

This is great news. Thank you for fitting our humble college into your tour. At Colby College we hold ourselves to a high standard, and you are certainly high. I will personally retrieve your requested items from Walmart, but I cannot guarantee any MILFs will be present. If it brings you any consolation, I will be there!!!!! 

Thank you for being so upfront about your monetary charges. I will need your net income, as well as debts and other large expenditures to plug in the numbers and determine how much financial compensation we can offer you. Here at Colby, we promise to match your financial needs 100% of some of the time. Whatever we are unable to provide in money, I will return in absolute adoration. 

You are my everything, 

President David Greene


~ Catherine Mongan `26

Be First to Comment

Leave a Reply