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New frontiers and new dares northward: The College’s relocation

The Board of Trustees is meeting this spring to discuss possibilities for campus relocation. The College’s leadership fears that Waterville has become too urban and that newly admitted students will not truly “Dare Northward.” An exploratory committee has been formed to scout potential spots.  

In recent years, Waterville has surged into a budding metropolis. From a Walmart to Mcdonald’s to Mira Kuya’s luxury sushi, thousands have recognized the high quality of life available in central Maine. High rents in northeastern cities have only further encouraged this mass migration. In fact, the large number of new people has resulted in a space shortage at the Concourse parking lot. The College’s students have bravely given up the Concourse’s luxuries for the greater good, now parking in Head of Falls. 

It is clear that Waterville’s rapid size increase is not sustainable. Students choose the College because of its tranquil solitude. They come every year not for the nightlife or food options but for the cute local establishments like Cancun and the Treasure Chest II. Students know what large cities are like and how truly boring they are. Waterville is a blissful escape for most, with an itching to get back to it after every break. More people in the area threaten the livelihood of these local shops and yearly experiences. 

The exploratory committee is looking for a remote location in northern Maine. One trustee has proposed a plot of land on the Canadian border. The spot’s location is home to beautiful evergreen trees and a thriving local ecosystem with exotic animals like deer and cardinals. It would be ideal for development. As a bonus, this area does not have any cell service, which would encourage students to live in the moment and embody the College’s new unofficial motto, “Disconnect and Reconnect.” 

There are some glaring absences in the College’s plans for the campus. Most notably, there is only one dorm that has garnered some criticism from student leaders. However, they have been assured the one-dorm model is intentional for the student experience. With one dorm room draws, controversies will be eliminated. These rooms will all be one-room doubles adapted for triples, with the College citing close living conditions as being essential to high morale. 

The College has always prided itself as a pioneer, never afraid to push the boundaries. As life gets easier for students, it is important that the College ensures a rigorous environment for them. With Waterville blossoming into a destination for many Americans, change must come. No matter where the College ends up moving to, one thing is certain for all students: Waterville will be missed.


~ Lil’ Poundcake

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